Faithful Paradox

Welcome back! Today I will continue with the next 3 points to consider as we battle to remain faithful, even when our feelings seem more real and accurate than what God’s Word says is true.

First we must learn the differences between questioning God and having questions for God

A piece of my story is that I lost my 18 year old son to cancer a little under 2 years ago and in many ways, my family is still reeling from this loss. As we work through grief, something my husband often says is that he does not question God – he’s not questioning God’s authority, his plan, his goodness, etc. But he does have questions FOR God. This is an important distinction for all believers, but especially for someone who feels things deeply. 

It’s important to recognize that we see throughout Scripture people who have questions for God. David asks God in Psalm 13 “how long, oh Lord, will you forget me forever?” Sarah questions whether God would really give her a son in Genesis 18. Job has questions for God about his suffering. Even Jesus asked God, “why have you forsaken me?” in the midst of his suffering. 

We see throughout the entirety of Scripture that God’s people have questions for him – and I think God invites us to do so. Helping people who feel things deeply understand that having questions FOR God is not the same as questioning God. If you are one who is struggling to believe God over your feelings, I would encourage you to create questions for God. He has no obligation to answer and may not, but writing out thoughtful questions helps those who feel things deeply to have space to ask things of God.

Secondly, recognize that the silence of God is not often as it seems

A very real and very painful experience for many people is what seems to be the silence of God. When we feel things deeply, what we need most is to know that God is near – not just know it in our heads, but to feel his nearness, his presence, his care. In the mystery of who God is, there are many times that God remains silent in times and seasons where we need desperately to feel him. 

As I consider Scripture, looking to Jesus, what we see of Jesus is that in the time that he was most terrified, in the time when he was facing the hardest, scariest, most painful thing he had to do – taking on the sin of all humanity and dying a sinners death that he did not deserve – he cried out to God, and God was silent. There was no response from his Father.

From my human perspective, it seems that when Jesus was getting ready to accomplish redemption and was feeling every emotion deeply, that would have been a time that hearing from his father would have been needed and necessary, but God was silent. It’s profound to consider that the silence of God ushered in both the greatest suffering a human has ever experienced, coupled with the greatest triumph that has ever occurred. Our unanswered questions to God, our hurt feelings of confusion and doubt, our feelings of isolation and feeling unheard do not mean that God is not listening; that he does not care deeply. But rather, our unanswered questions simply mean that God is not in a place that he intends to reveal his plan… just yet. 

Have you ever wondered what would have happened had God answered Jesus’ prayer that God take the cup? Our very salvation, the reason we have access to a Holy God, the foundation of our hope and faith would have been removed. Jesus was not asking that of his father. He knew that God’s promises and character depended on his faithful silence to the cries of his son. So he cried out and trusted that the silence was an expression of his father’s love. Simply because God does not answer, and especially when he does not answer how we are hoping, does not mean he is far off or indifferent. It’s quite the opposite. Often God’s silence ushers in the greatest works among those who have most acutely felt and experienced, what feels like, the absence of God. God is committed to giving us everything we need to become more like his son. Because of this commitment to us, our prayers, at times, necessitate the silence of God. His responding to us would not give us the best because it would answer a lesser desire or need. 

Remind those who feel things deeply that God’s silence is not often as it seems or appears.

Third, encourage someone who feels things deeply to make a practice of talking to themselves. 

Many have probably heard the famous quote of Martin Lloyd Jones. “Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?” 

Often, people who struggle with feeling things deeply get lost in their emotions. They feel things deeply and their feelings become their reality. It is a helpful practice to combat feelings with Biblical truth. 

When I was feeling abandoned, I knew God’s word said he would never leave me or forsake me. Talking to myself would have looked something like this, “I feel abandoned right now, but God’s word says he will never abandon me. You may feel abandoned right now, but you are not. God does not lie. God is with me. His presence clearly doesn’t look like I want it to, but he is here. God, show me what your presence means right now. Show me how you are near. Help me see what I am missing.”

We see David do this throughout the Psalms. He commands his soul to praise God in Psalm 103.He talks himself into belief during the times he is struggling with doubt or feelings.

This discipline is really hard for people who feel things deeply because the discipline often does not change the emotion. And yet it’s an important tool to have in the tool belt. It’s an important discipline to know the truths of God and practice

Tune in tomorrow for the last 3 tips (the most helpful one for me comes tomorrow!)