I love God’s word because it shows us the failures of God’s people. It does not give examples of those who had perfect faith (were there such a thing) or even whitewash the sins of those it highlights. Rather, it gives a very real picture of both the brokenness of man and the grace of… Continue reading

I am learning that looking for good in the midst of loss is a discipline in humility. It comes with a willingness to see the good work God is up to, even as the pain remains. He has promised that “all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose”… Continue reading

There are parts of grief I thought I understood yet now realize I did not know as much as I believed. Before losing my son, I understood cognitively that loss changes a person. How could it not? Having a masters in counseling, I even studied grief and its effect on people. I understood as much… Continue reading

My husband developed a migraine on Sunday afternoon. Despite multiple rounds of medication, sleep, and doing his best to treat it, the pain would not subside. He struggled through the night, still battling extreme pain Monday morning. When I awoke and saw the state he was in, I stopped and prayed for him, asking with… Continue reading

I felt the heaviness of sorrow and grief once again this past weekend. I think I cried more in the last three days then I have cried in the last several months combined. The overwhelming ache of missing my son came rushing back. In some ways, I found myself feeling confused about why this was… Continue reading

Easter weekend has always been one of contemplation for me; and much more so over the last three years as we continue to navigate what life is like after the death of our eldest son, Ezra. I often think about Friday and Christ’s crucifixion; the incredible sacrifice he made for sinners like me. I love… Continue reading

I had the opportunity to sit down with Jill Sullivan from While We’re Waiting, a ministry that offers Biblically based retreats for bereaved parents after child loss. We spent some time talking about my post, 10 Things That Are Different Than What I Expected. We also talked a little about my experience in year three… Continue reading

I was at our small group a few weeks back and the question was asked, “How does your heart feel toward God?” The word that immediately came to mind for me was guarded. As I truly consider my heart, there is a guardedness within me. It’s not anger. It’s not really doubt. It’s not disbelief.… Continue reading

We recently watched a documentary as a family about Liverpool Football Club. Liverpool was Ezra’s favorite team; he followed them and cheered them on with every fiber of his being. Afterward, my husband expressed that somehow, watching the documentary stirred sadness in him. I’m not sure if it was just the reminder of Ezra’s love… Continue reading

I was acutely aware that the calendar rolled from February to March this past Sunday. For me, that change was relatively inconsequential. I have two friends, however, for whom the month of March brings deep sorrow. One friend lost her son and another her husband. Something I did not understand prior to losing my own… Continue reading