Faithful Paradox

I’m a sucker for happy endings. I am one of the strange ones who will absolutely read the ending of a book first and if I don’t like the ending, I won’t read the book. Give me all the chick flicks and predictable stories. I figure this world has enough that is unpredictable, why add more tension to life?

In this vein, I’ve always loved the exciting narratives in Scripture where God shows up exactly how one would hope. He comes in at the eleventh hour and shows his power and glory. Whether it be Elijah versus the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18, God parting the Red Sea in Exodus 14, or the arrival of the Messiah at the just right time, there is this hope and expectation that when things look bleak, even impossible, God intervenes and saves the day.

I love the narrative of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. These men are thrown into the fiery furnace by King Nebuchadnezzar because they will not bow down and worship him. With great faith in God, they proclaim, “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning, fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O King” (Daniel 3:26). God hears their cries and reveals his power and delivers the men out of the fiery furnace. Everyone walks away unharmed, the king decrees that the nation worship God, the three men are promoted and it seems they live happily ever after. It’s the happy ending to suffering that every Christian wants.

Even in the midst of the fire, there was a fourth man walking around that looked like, “a son of the gods” according to Daniel 3:25. Many scholars believe that this was the pre-incarnate Christ, walking through the fire with these men of bold faith. We long for that as well, don’t we? We long to see Jesus in the fiery trials with us.

What these men experienced was miraculous. The passage says that the furnace was heated to seven times hotter than the normal temperature; so hot in fact that the soldiers who delivered the men into the furnace died as they neared the heat (Daniel 3:19-26). In this era, a brick kiln would have been heated to about 1000 degrees Fahrenheit. If the fuel were literally seven times hotter, the furnace would have been more than 3000 degrees hotter than the sun! That’s hot!!!

Regardless of the actual temperature, the point is that it was so very hot that even nearing it, the soldiers died. The Word says that, “the fire had not had any power over the bodies of those men. The hair of their heads was not singed, their cloaks were not harmed, and no smell of fire had come upon them( Daniel 3:27). Who has ever sat near a normal temperature campfire and not walked away smelling like smoke? The men’s experience was miraculous and supernatural. I think it’s the experience every believer hopes to have as we pray. It’s often how the teaching goes around this passage… what’s your “fiery furnace?” Or “Where do you see Jesus in your fiery trial?” Or “Do you have faith like these men to believe that God will deliver you?” These teachings are not wrong, necessarily. But they are incomplete and often feed into a form of the prosperity gospel that requires only faith to believe that God will indeed deliver and we will have the happy endings we all long for.

In life, we all anticipate struggle. We anticipate things like broken bones or the flu. We anticipate hardship and struggle and when crisis comes, there is always hope that God will intervene. We pray with faith, along with Shadrach, Meschach and Abedengo, “Our God is able to deliver us!” And we believe. We believe with our hearts that God is able. We look for the ways that Jesus is walking with us in our suffering. We wait for the glorious, miraculous deliverance… but if not…

Amidst the mens’ prayers of God’s ability was a small phrase with great faith. They prayed, “our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not…” But if not… These men knew God was able, but they also knew that God may not answer the way they hoped.

I think it’s likely that the “if not” prayers in life require far more faith than the, “our God is able” prayers. I have met very few believers who doubt God is able. The wrestling does not come in believing that God is able, but rather, in choosing to trust God when the “if not” is the reality.

If not…

• We pray for healing, but if not….
• We pray for deliverance, but if not…
• We pray for freedom from addiction, but if not…
• We pray for the prodigal to return, but if not…
• We pray for positive test results, but if not…
• We pray for the marriage to be restored, but if not…
• We pray for the spouse to return, but if not…
• We pray for the job to open up, but if not…

The “if not” prayers are the hardest prayers because they are the prayers that truly test our faith. They are the prayers of true surrender. They are the prayers that truly reveal to our own hearts if our faith is based in who God claims to be or if our faith is grounded in what God is willing to do for us.

The “if not” prayers of life are the hardest for me. When Ezra was sick, I had to reach a point of “if not.” God, please, heal my son, but if not… God, please restore Ezra to health, but if not… God, heal our broken family from this devastation, but if not… Sitting in the “if nots” have been some of my hardest, darkest times because they are the times that I have only one choice: surrender. And surrender is hard, especially when we can see no earthly good to the plans of God. It is in those moments, in which we really gain nothing in this life in trusting the plans of God, that faith is truly refined.

I remember a specific moment when I was pleading with God to heal Ezra. I finally got to a point in which I was able to say, “God, please don’t take him. Please heal him. But if not, I know I will be okay. I know you will hold me. I know you will keep him.”

Sometimes our “if not” prayers are simply that… God, I know I will be okay. Even if I’m not strong enough to remain faithful, you will remain faithful to me, and somehow, even though I don’t understand it, that is enough. I will be okay because even if… I still have you and some how, that is enough.

The “if not” prayers are often riddled with fear and anxiety because they are prayers of surrender. The “if not” prayers reveal the foundation of faith. The “if not” prayers are often uttered through tears and wrestling, through angst and pain. And yet the “if not” prayers are also the ones that please the heart of a God who is tender and kind. They are the prayers that assure us that everything we have here on earth will fade away, and yet God will always be with us. And some how, even though I really don’t yet understand this truth, that is enough. He is enough.