-
And Epidural for the Heart
I was a big fan of the epidural. The Bible says that pain in child bearing is a curse and I saw the epidural as a mercy from God to alleviate some of the pain that came with that curse. It was glorious! With my first four pregnancies, I had plenty of time to receive Continue reading
-
The Grief Gym
I’ve been thinking recently about how grief has changed; both how grief itself feels different and how it has changed me. It’s different than it was two years ago or even a few months ago. At times, it’s hard to see how grief has changed because it’s still so present in so many ways. This Continue reading
-
I Wish Grief Was Different
I wish grief was different than it is. While there is absolutely a clear starting point, there is no end… at least not one that is in sight. I wish there were milestones. I wish there were clearly defined marks that once passed, gave assurance you would never go back. I wish that grief had Continue reading
-
Nearness
When Ezra was sick, the 7th floor of Children’s Hospital, the cancer floor, was full of children fighting that cursed disease. There were parents who wore the battle scars of life at the hospital; the wrinkled clothes and messy hair, the simple meals in the kitchen area, the always present 7th floor sticker-name-badge, the dried, Continue reading
-
Chats Over Chicken
I had the opportunity last night to have some one-on-one time with my youngest son. The rest of the family was away at various activities so we opted to go out to dinner, kid’s choice, and then for a drive. He wanted Chick-Fil-A, so we headed up for chicken sandwiches and were able to sit Continue reading
-
Two Years
Today marks two years since Ezra left this earth and entered heaven. Two years. It’s rare for an hour to go by that I still do not think of him. He is so deeply embedded in my heart, so much a part of who I am that when he left this life, a piece of Continue reading
-
6,715 Days
We have had people in our lives tell us that we simply need to get over losing Ezra. This has been a painful word spoken, but as I consider the words, I think it comes from a place of lacking understanding; lacking the emotional compassion to realize that when one loses someone they love so Continue reading
-
The Blue Gurney
Today is a hard day. It’s a day I awoke feeling grief into my bones from the moment my mind was alert. My eyes have tears at the brink of the dam, ready to spill over at every moment. Two years ago today was the last day I saw Ezra. Two years ago today, he Continue reading
-
Prisoner of Hope
I have written previously about hope. It is still a concept that, at times, can confound me and cause my heart to wrestle deeply. There are times I have felt like a child standing in the sea as the waves crash down. With each wave that comes, I am knocked over. As time goes on, Continue reading
-
Dear Anxiety
Dear Anxiety, As I think of you, I confess that my feelings for you are cold. The impact you’ve had on my life leaves me resenting you; wishing you were gone. You are one who seems to linger and has no understanding of social cues. You lurk, standing behind dark corners, watching and waiting for Continue reading
Faithful Paradox
faithful [ feyth-fuhl ] – steady in allegiance or affection; loyal — paradox. /ˈpær·əˌdɑks/ – a statement or situation that may be true but seems impossible or difficult to understand
May we learn to be faithful to Jesus, even as we wrestle with the paradox of faith.
Faithful Paradox 