faith
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Joy and Weeping
I recently had a conversation with someone about loss and grief. In the conversation, he asked me, “Do you feel like you have joy?” I paused before I answered and asked if he could clarify what he meant by joy. Depending on how he defined joy, it would dramatically affect the answer I gave. His… Continue reading
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Restoration
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of restoration. I think for me, I am realizing that there are a lot of ideas and words that float around Christian sub-culture that sound really amazing, but when I sit down and really chew on what the ideas mean, I realize I can’t actually put… Continue reading
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There Is No Formula
When I was in my early 20’s, anxiety became a very real and painful part of my story. I accumulated years of sleepless nights as panic attacks would haunt me in the dark. I cannot count the number of times I prayed Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer… Continue reading
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Nearness
When Ezra was sick, the 7th floor of Children’s Hospital, the cancer floor, was full of children fighting that cursed disease. There were parents who wore the battle scars of life at the hospital; the wrinkled clothes and messy hair, the simple meals in the kitchen area, the always present 7th floor sticker-name-badge, the dried,… Continue reading
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Chats Over Chicken
I had the opportunity last night to have some one-on-one time with my youngest son. The rest of the family was away at various activities so we opted to go out to dinner, kid’s choice, and then for a drive. He wanted Chick-Fil-A, so we headed up for chicken sandwiches and were able to sit… Continue reading
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The Blue Gurney
Today is a hard day. It’s a day I awoke feeling grief into my bones from the moment my mind was alert. My eyes have tears at the brink of the dam, ready to spill over at every moment. Two years ago today was the last day I saw Ezra. Two years ago today, he… Continue reading
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Dear Anxiety
Dear Anxiety, As I think of you, I confess that my feelings for you are cold. The impact you’ve had on my life leaves me resenting you; wishing you were gone. You are one who seems to linger and has no understanding of social cues. You lurk, standing behind dark corners, watching and waiting for… Continue reading
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Grief Changes You (Navigating Grief – part 2)
A piece of grief I have often heard but did not understand is that grief changes a person. Early on our journey with Ezra, I read that grief will make you better or it will make you bitter, but it will not leave you unchanged. A piece of walking with those who are walking or… Continue reading
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The Question of Why
Last Christmas I sat in the attic bedroom of an Airbnb in Liverpool and wept. We had been gifted the incredible opportunity to complete Ezra’s Make-A-Wish from some friends who heard that once a cancer patient dies, Make-A-Wish cancels the wish. Ezra dreamed of going to a game at Anfield Stadium in Liverpool, England to… Continue reading
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Faithful Paradox
Welcome! I’m so glad you’re here. If I’m being totally honest, I’m not sure if people even read blogs anymore!?! But alas, I process through writing, so even if no one reads it, the process has been helpful for me and since you’re here right now, I hope it’s helpful for you too! I don’t… Continue reading
Faithful Paradox 