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I Wish Grief Was Different
I wish grief was different than it is. While there is absolutely a clear starting point, there is no end… at least not one that is in sight. I wish there were milestones. I wish there were clearly defined marks that once passed, gave assurance you would never go back. I wish that grief had… Continue reading
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Nearness
When Ezra was sick, the 7th floor of Children’s Hospital, the cancer floor, was full of children fighting that cursed disease. There were parents who wore the battle scars of life at the hospital; the wrinkled clothes and messy hair, the simple meals in the kitchen area, the always present 7th floor sticker-name-badge, the dried,… Continue reading
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Chats Over Chicken
I had the opportunity last night to have some one-on-one time with my youngest son. The rest of the family was away at various activities so we opted to go out to dinner, kid’s choice, and then for a drive. He wanted Chick-Fil-A, so we headed up for chicken sandwiches and were able to sit… Continue reading
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Two Years
Today marks two years since Ezra left this earth and entered heaven. Two years. It’s rare for an hour to go by that I still do not think of him. He is so deeply embedded in my heart, so much a part of who I am that when he left this life, a piece of… Continue reading
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6,715 Days
We have had people in our lives tell us that we simply need to get over losing Ezra. This has been a painful word spoken, but as I consider the words, I think it comes from a place of lacking understanding; lacking the emotional compassion to realize that when one loses someone they love so… Continue reading
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The Blue Gurney
Today is a hard day. It’s a day I awoke feeling grief into my bones from the moment my mind was alert. My eyes have tears at the brink of the dam, ready to spill over at every moment. Two years ago today was the last day I saw Ezra. Two years ago today, he… Continue reading
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Prisoner of Hope
I have written previously about hope. It is still a concept that, at times, can confound me and cause my heart to wrestle deeply. There are times I have felt like a child standing in the sea as the waves crash down. With each wave that comes, I am knocked over. As time goes on,… Continue reading
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Dear Anxiety
Dear Anxiety, As I think of you, I confess that my feelings for you are cold. The impact you’ve had on my life leaves me resenting you; wishing you were gone. You are one who seems to linger and has no understanding of social cues. You lurk, standing behind dark corners, watching and waiting for… Continue reading
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Weeping In the Night
I always have this hope that reading, speaking and knowing God’s truth will bring immediate comfort. The reality is, however, that it often takes fighting to believe what is true before feelings follow. It is rarely a one-for-one exchange for me. Rarely is it that I proclaim what is true and then my feelings are… Continue reading
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Grief and Relief
I was texting with a friend this morning who is going through a season of transition with her family. Some of the transitions were expected, some were not. As we were texting, I expressed that she must feel a measure of both grief and relief; grief about the changes and loss, relief about the lifting… Continue reading
Faithful Paradox 