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The Blue Gurney
Today is a hard day. It’s a day I awoke feeling grief into my bones from the moment my mind was alert. My eyes have tears at the brink of the dam, ready to spill over at every moment. Two years ago today was the last day I saw Ezra. Two years ago today, he… Continue reading
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Prisoner of Hope
I have written previously about hope. It is still a concept that, at times, can confound me and cause my heart to wrestle deeply. There are times I have felt like a child standing in the sea as the waves crash down. With each wave that comes, I am knocked over. As time goes on,… Continue reading
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Dear Anxiety
Dear Anxiety, As I think of you, I confess that my feelings for you are cold. The impact you’ve had on my life leaves me resenting you; wishing you were gone. You are one who seems to linger and has no understanding of social cues. You lurk, standing behind dark corners, watching and waiting for… Continue reading
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Weeping In the Night
I always have this hope that reading, speaking and knowing God’s truth will bring immediate comfort. The reality is, however, that it often takes fighting to believe what is true before feelings follow. It is rarely a one-for-one exchange for me. Rarely is it that I proclaim what is true and then my feelings are… Continue reading
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Grief and Relief
I was texting with a friend this morning who is going through a season of transition with her family. Some of the transitions were expected, some were not. As we were texting, I expressed that she must feel a measure of both grief and relief; grief about the changes and loss, relief about the lifting… Continue reading
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Shadows
I am one of those people whose mind is like a computer screen with 47 tabs open. My brain is always going. I tend to think in pictures. I am certain it’s easy to discern that I am also a verbal processor through reading the things I write. I started writing as a way to… Continue reading
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God of the Remnant
When Vince was in grad school, money was tight and ends often didn’t meet. Our dates consisted of waiting in line at Krispy Kream to get a free donut and then coyly stepping out of line. It was not uncommon to see us perusing the aisles at Sam’s on a Saturday, gleaning the free samples… Continue reading
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The “If Not” Prayers of Life
I’m a sucker for happy endings. I am one of the strange ones who will absolutely read the ending of a book first and if I don’t like the ending, I won’t read the book. Give me all the chick flicks and predictable stories. I figure this world has enough that is unpredictable, why add… Continue reading
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Grief Is a Sacred Balance
One of the cruel pieces of grief and loss is that life simply marches on and cares not that you want (or need) time to sit and linger, working through complex thoughts and emotions. There are the pieces that some who are watching may see or experience, and then there is the ongoing internal battle… Continue reading
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Grieving The “No’s” of God
I grew up singing many of the old hymns of the faith that proclaim the steadfast nature of God. I’m not sure I really paid attention to the lyrics at the time, but as traditional hymns have given way to modern worship music, I have found there are many times that the lyrics rub against… Continue reading
