god
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Feeling Passed By
A piece of grieving that I did not anticipate are the moments when jealousy pops its ugly head into the picture. It’s hard. When I hear that someone prayed something I too have prayed and God’s answer was, “yes” to them, yet I received a “no” from God, it’s hard. It does not diminish my Continue reading
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Missed Miracles
When I was younger, my parents had a neighbor who faced an unexpected terminal illness. She was a young mom, previously very healthy and suddenly, she was sick and dying. I prayed and prayed for her, pleading with God to heal her. Wouldn’t it bring him the most glory to bring her back to health? Continue reading
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Restoration
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of restoration. I think for me, I am realizing that there are a lot of ideas and words that float around Christian sub-culture that sound really amazing, but when I sit down and really chew on what the ideas mean, I realize I can’t actually put Continue reading
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There Is No Formula
When I was in my early 20’s, anxiety became a very real and painful part of my story. I accumulated years of sleepless nights as panic attacks would haunt me in the dark. I cannot count the number of times I prayed Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer Continue reading
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Nearness
When Ezra was sick, the 7th floor of Children’s Hospital, the cancer floor, was full of children fighting that cursed disease. There were parents who wore the battle scars of life at the hospital; the wrinkled clothes and messy hair, the simple meals in the kitchen area, the always present 7th floor sticker-name-badge, the dried, Continue reading
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Chats Over Chicken
I had the opportunity last night to have some one-on-one time with my youngest son. The rest of the family was away at various activities so we opted to go out to dinner, kid’s choice, and then for a drive. He wanted Chick-Fil-A, so we headed up for chicken sandwiches and were able to sit Continue reading
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Dear Anxiety
Dear Anxiety, As I think of you, I confess that my feelings for you are cold. The impact you’ve had on my life leaves me resenting you; wishing you were gone. You are one who seems to linger and has no understanding of social cues. You lurk, standing behind dark corners, watching and waiting for Continue reading
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It Is Good Today
I find, since losing Ezra, that I have been wrestling a lot with the sovereignty of God. I am not doubting that God is sovereign (meaning that he is in control of all things and that nothing comes to us outside of his hand). My wrestling is not that God is sovereign. But rather, what Continue reading
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The Question of Why
Last Christmas I sat in the attic bedroom of an Airbnb in Liverpool and wept. We had been gifted the incredible opportunity to complete Ezra’s Make-A-Wish from some friends who heard that once a cancer patient dies, Make-A-Wish cancels the wish. Ezra dreamed of going to a game at Anfield Stadium in Liverpool, England to Continue reading
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Stubborn Joy
I had coffee recently with a friend who is battling through faith. They have faced some significant loss and are wondering if holding on to God is worth it. They feel like He didn’t show up; or at least not in the way they hoped he would. I imagine most who believe in God have Continue reading
Faithful Paradox 