healing
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The Nuance of Healing
Yesterday marked the finish of three years now without Ezra. The weekend was full of people caring for us, praying for us, and supporting us. It’s a gift to be a part of both a community and God’s church and see and experience the care of Christ extended through his people. It helps so much Continue reading
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Pressing Forward as Pain Settles
We were traveling on and off over the last couple of weeks and when we got home, one of my sons realized his Airpods could not be located. I opened the “Find My” app on my phone to see where we should start looking and as I scrolled through the app, Ezra’s name popped up Continue reading
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Lessons In the Third Year
As I wrote last week, this past Sunday would have been Ezra’s 21st birthday. I had hoped with it being the third birthday we have endured without him, it would have been a bit easier. In some ways, it was. In other ways, days of significance still have a raw, pain-filled nature to them. I Continue reading
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Feeling Passed By
A piece of grieving that I did not anticipate are the moments when jealousy pops its ugly head into the picture. It’s hard. When I hear that someone prayed something I too have prayed and God’s answer was, “yes” to them, yet I received a “no” from God, it’s hard. It does not diminish my Continue reading
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Missed Miracles
When I was younger, my parents had a neighbor who faced an unexpected terminal illness. She was a young mom, previously very healthy and suddenly, she was sick and dying. I prayed and prayed for her, pleading with God to heal her. Wouldn’t it bring him the most glory to bring her back to health? Continue reading
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Nearness
When Ezra was sick, the 7th floor of Children’s Hospital, the cancer floor, was full of children fighting that cursed disease. There were parents who wore the battle scars of life at the hospital; the wrinkled clothes and messy hair, the simple meals in the kitchen area, the always present 7th floor sticker-name-badge, the dried, Continue reading
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The Blue Gurney
Today is a hard day. It’s a day I awoke feeling grief into my bones from the moment my mind was alert. My eyes have tears at the brink of the dam, ready to spill over at every moment. Two years ago today was the last day I saw Ezra. Two years ago today, he Continue reading
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Hello, My Name Is Grief
I have always viewed Grief as an unwanted intruder; a strange visitor. I’ve seen him as the most unwanted houseguest that simply shows up unannounced, uninvited, staying as long as he wants. I’ve seen Grief as an obnoxious screamer, demanding time and attention I’d rather not give. I never know how long he intends to Continue reading
Faithful Paradox 