Child Loss and Faith
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The Joy I Took for Granted
We took our younger two sons for an overnight stay in Denver last week. We tried to find some fun with them, saying “yes” as often as we could. We rode scooters through the city streets, swam, ate delicious food, shopped, and spent some time at a driving range. It was sweet to be together.… Continue reading
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When Grief Becomes Identity
I had someone recently ask, “Do you think grief can become an idol?” My gut reaction was, “Yes, of course!” As Calvin stated, our hearts are idol factories. As I have chewed on this question over the last several days, I actually think the answer is much more layered. Long before grief becomes an idol,… Continue reading
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I Thought Healing Would Look Different
Had someone asked me 4 years ago, “how long do you think you could write about grief?” I imagine my answer would have been maybe for a year or two. I had no category for how long it takes to work through the layers of pain and loss. I had no concept of the difficult… Continue reading
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Six Ways to Shepherd Our Children Through Pain
I have a son who survived an oftentimes fatal, catastrophic pediatric seizure disorder as a baby. The disorder caused brain damage, developmental disabilities, and he has struggled with seizures now for 16 years. After a particularly terrible seizure last week, one of his brothers sat in my room in tears. He was unable to sleep… Continue reading
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The Tension of Grief in Moments of Joy
Raising five boys, there was never a loss of brotherly competition or rivalry in our home. There was always an effort between the boys to show who was king for the day. When my kids were young, this dynamic was especially present during times when one of the boys had the opportunity to shine. When… Continue reading
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The Melody of Sorrow
Yesterday would have been Ezra’s 22nd birthday. In many ways, 22 years seems inconsequential. It’s just another number; another date on the calendar. Yet as I watch his friends, I see them graduating college. I see them finding their first full time jobs and stepping into new seasons. I see them marrying and launching into… Continue reading
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Ten Ways I’ve Seen Good After Loss
I am learning that looking for good in the midst of loss is a discipline in humility. It comes with a willingness to see the good work God is up to, even as the pain remains. He has promised that “all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose”… Continue reading
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The Grief I Did Not Know
There are parts of grief I thought I understood yet now realize I did not know as much as I believed. Before losing my son, I understood cognitively that loss changes a person. How could it not? Having a masters in counseling, I even studied grief and its effect on people. I understood as much… Continue reading
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My Boast Today
My husband developed a migraine on Sunday afternoon. Despite multiple rounds of medication, sleep, and doing his best to treat it, the pain would not subside. He struggled through the night, still battling extreme pain Monday morning. When I awoke and saw the state he was in, I stopped and prayed for him, asking with… Continue reading
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The Breath of Comfort
I felt the heaviness of sorrow and grief once again this past weekend. I think I cried more in the last three days then I have cried in the last several months combined. The overwhelming ache of missing my son came rushing back. In some ways, I found myself feeling confused about why this was… Continue reading